The Fashionista Girl: NFL Draft Fashion Review

After a few months without any on-the-field NFL action, I have to say thank jebus for the draft and all its anticipatory Pro Days pageantry and parading.  This year’s draft at Radio City Music Hall pushed the boundaries of taste and professionalism by delivering an oddball ceremony which was like College Game Day, the local news, and AT&T having an orgy at the Golden Globe Awards.

Honestly though, I ate it all up, and it made for some interesting fashion observations.  It can’t be easy picking an outfit for this mishmash occasion where there’s a red carpet entrance to a peanut gallery of rabid face-painters.  Where you may (or may not) be televised whispering sweet nothings to your coachie-poo on the phone, and where most potentials watch from home and may (or may not) be televised doing so.  And all before any of these young men have made their first buck.

Here’s a breakdown of some of the best and worst displays of fashion poise under pressure.

The Champ

Safety Eric Berry tops my list of best dressed for his choice of a well-fitting suit that is professional without overreaching his age or experience.  Plus using the orange tie as a nod to Tennessee is a classy, sportsman touch.

Mr. Excited

Defensive tackle Gerald McCoy was a contender for first place.  His suit looked sharp, and he wore it well.  No small feat for a 6’4”, 295 lb. man.  But he made one rookie error.  Gerald over-accessorized.  We could barely see him behind the huge sparkly watch, diamond studs, thick glasses, AND 1-inch bracelet.  I know it’s tempting in these special occasion moments to just put it all on, but good editing is key to delivering a polished final product.  That said, G, you looked pretty good.

“I love you, shiny bracelet, and I’d never leave you home on such a special night.”

Mr. Wrong

The toughest part about being good looking is that people automatically have high expectations of you.  When QB Sam Bradford, easily the cutest of the QB draftees (oh, and he also did ok at his Pro Day), came out in this Bacharach BOGO special and anchorman coif, our hearts couldn’t help but sink with disappointment.  With such adorable yet masculine features, he could have thrown on some J. Crew or Kenneth Cole, run a little paste through his hair, and called it a day.  But hey, maybe it’s the right look for St. Louis.

The Risk-Taker

Defensive tackle Ndamukong Suh went bold in a taupe three-piece with gingham shirt and gold tie.  I commend him on the risk and give Suh the prize for most creative ensemble.  It was a good style execution, as he balanced patterns with the bold tie well.  Similarly to McCoy, Suh demonstrated fashion savvy by pulling off a flattering on-camera look despite his 300 lb. body.  The outfit looked best sans jacket because it provided shape to his DT build.

“Aww, you like my shirt, Jimmy S?  Don’t you know I wore it for you….”

The Lost Alterna-Rocker

No one knows what Joe Haden was thinking when he thought this suit was a good idea.  Between the contrast trim and faux plug earrings, this cornerback looks more prepared to accept a VMA than a spot on the Denver Broncos.

King of the Castle

Figuring out the right outfit for being televised at home is tricky.  You neither want to go overboard, nor look like the scrubby shlub you usually are (see Colt McCoy, below).  WR Dez Bryant and his crew struck a perfect balance of being natural yet polite.  Extra points for using this photo op to challenge his reputation for being a problem kid.  With such smarts and physical prowess, it’s no wonder Dallas was all over him.

The Kid

It was obvious Colt McCoy thought about what he was going to wear the day he was finally drafted.  But much to my disappointment in him, his Southern parents (aren’t Texans supposed to be genteel?), and his hot girlfriend, his decision-making process stopped at, “Oh yeah, I’ll wear the ‘Victory is Mine’ shirt.  That’ll show ‘em!”.  I think you’re going to be great, Colt, but right now I’m so mad at you.

Jebus & His Stalker

Dammit Colt, Tim Tebow looks better than you!  I take comfort in the fact that some other guy was wearing his exact same outfit during TT’s party…. Awkward!

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