Positively Gruden: Top 10 Jon Gruden Lines from Giants/Cowboys

It’s another installment of “Positively Gruden!” your weekly Top Ten List of compliments, platitudes, and hyperboles from our favorite coach turned Monday Night Football analyst.  This week, it took a good full quarter and a half before the positivity kicked in, prompted by a potent cocktail of Dez Bryant’s punt return and Gruden’s apparently chugging of eight bottles of Five-Hour Energy.  Unfortunately for the Cowboys, that return represented the beginning of the end for the game—and the season–as the Giants came roaring back to take the lead and Romo was knocked out of the game with a broken clavicle.  That left us a lovefest that was decidedly Giants heavy, as the Cowboys fans were left licking their wounds – and scouring Craigslist to seek out buyers for their Super Bowl tickets.

As always, we’re counting down from 10 to 1 based on increasing levels of absurdity.

10.       Previewing the 1-4 Cowboys, “What I like about the Cowboys is they’ve got big time players!”

9.         On the pregame song, “New Attitude” that accompanies a Giants preview, “I wish that was a longer segment, I love that song!”

8.         On Dez Bryant, “Do not kick him the ball under any circumstances.  He might be the best punt returner there is in the league, and I’m talking about Devin Hester in Chicago!”