Positively Gruden: Ravens at Jaguars
Good morning, Grudenites, time for your daily dose of “Positively Gruden,” where I break down the top absurdities, hyperbole, and just plain weirdness from Chucky, er, former coach Jon Gruden. Based on the Ravens’ (4-1) and Jags (1-5) performances leading up to the night, one would expect the game to be “Child’s Play,” for Flacco, Lewis, and the other Harbaugh. What followed, however, was a pure horror show. In what might have been one of the worst games of the year, I have to admit that I actually shirked my duties for a few series and watched (gasp!) baseball.
But I really don’t think I missed anything. Because of that stinkfest yesterday, this might go down as one of the worst PG’s I’ve ever compiled. Sorry kids: just wait until next week’s stirring Chargers-Chiefs. (Wait, how much did ESPN pay for these MNF rights again?)
Without further ado…..
“Watch Clint Sessions, #58, say to Ricky Williams, ‘welcome to Jacksonville.’ These Jags are hitting the Ravens in the mouth.”
On Ray Lewis, “This guy is unbelievable, he set a culture in place 16 years ago. You run and you hit and you give everything you have.”
“Look at these Jaguars in the huddle, Jaws, they are excited!” (first time all season)
“This Albert Pujols, I tell ya Joe, is amazing. I mean, LOOK at the number this guy’s put up. And three homers last night, ARE YOU KIDDING me? He started out as a fat kid in the minors and now is in line for one of the biggest paychecks EVER this offseason. I love this guy, Joe.” (Sorry that was me daydreaming about how Gruden would call the World Series)
On Jags running game, “This are no nonsense runs, now. These are not mis-directions or gimmick runs. These are old fashioned POUND the ball at you runs and the Jaguars have been good at this throughout Jack Del Rio‘s tenure here.”
After a Jags great pass break-up, “I know secondary coaches that will be calling for that video. That’s a training reel of coverage down from Derrick Cox out of William and Mary. Welcome back from your rib injury.” (I think he meant, “welcome back McRib”)
“Jack Del Rio, believe me, he knows what he’s doing.”
On Maurice Jones-Drew, “This is a great job of unloading. Watch him hit the hole…and unload at contact.” (He also unloaded the ball, fumbling on the play)