Positively Gruden, Falcons at Seahawks: You’ve Got Anonymous Offensive Linemen!

Welcome to another rendition of “Positively Gruden,” where chronicle the top appreciation, applause, and acclaim from America’s favorite fawning former coach. Last night’s Falcons-Seahawks game salvaged an otherwise dreadful weekend of football, with an exciting back-and-forth contest culminated by an all-too-familiar Russell Wilson comeback and Falcons late game flop. But somehow, the usual script was flipped as the damp Seattle air rendered a tying Blair Walsh field just short. Something about that kick was fishy. If you ask me (and Pete Carroll), it was an inside job.

The Grudenisms this week were solid, but not spectacular.  There was the predictable praise heaped on the opposing QBs, particularly Wilson’s scrambling ability. The most creative entry was our #1 selection, a new acronym that best represented Gruden’s technological acumen.

As always, top Grudenisms are graded on a sliding scale of hyperbole, vivid imagery, and outright absurdity.

15. On Keanu Neal, “He’s the perfect hybrid safety. He’s half linebacker, half defensive back.”

14. “When you get Jimmy [Graham] against a linebacker, fuggidaboutit.”

13. “Matt Ryan in the pocket. He is special.”

12. To McDonough, on an instant replay challenge, “I think I agree with you, I hate to admit it. For me to agree with you, my wife’s gonna be calling wondering if I’m ok now.”

11. “Alex Mack is the best center you’ll ever see, he told me that last night.”

10. “Goodness gracious. Julio Jones with a spectacular catch, and Mohamed Sanu says ‘if you can do it, I can out do you'”

9. On Jeremy Lane, “This guy’s a pro. He’s been here awhile. He’s a Home. Grown. Seahawk. And he showed a lot of character just getting on with life.” (If that’s the test for character, call me Jon Snow.)

8. On Mike Davis, “Watch him lower the BOOM. All the coaches were excited to give him the opportunity. He can catch it, and he just proved he’s a very good finisher.”

7. “Mohamed Sanu is more than just your every day complementary receiver. He is an NFC Champion, and he is NASTY as a route runner.”

6. “I like McKissic. What is McKissic? He’s on the Falcons, gets claimed off their practice squad. McKissic caught almost 300 passes at Arkansas State, and he wasn’t even a running back!”

5. On Grady Jarrett, “Our pregame grinder. You don’t see big 300lb nose tackles run after quarterbacks consistently like Grady Jarrett does.”

4. On Russell Wilson, “Adversity doesn’t bother him. There’s no fear in his game at all. None.”

3. “Wilson’s healthier than obviously he was last year. He’s stronger, he’s quicker, he’s been boxing…..He’s in tremendous condition, and he’s gonna go 15 rounds every night out.”

2. More Wilson love, “Gets out of more trouble than Harry Houdini. Incredible poise, courage.”

1. On the Falcons, “I refer to these guys as AOL. They’re just a bunch of anonymous offensive lineman.”