Positively Gruden 2014, Week 2: Eagles vs. Colts, The Joys of Darren Sproles

Welcome to another rendition of Positively Gruden, where we chronicle the top praise, plaudits, and pontifications from America’s favorite fawning former coach.  This week was supposed to feature the fast-paced Eagles against Comeback Kid Andrew Luck.   However, it was the Colts getting out to the fast start with the Eagles coming back in the end, aided by an untimely interception by Luck stemming from a blatant missed defensive holding call (wasn’t that a point of emphasis?).

Of course, the hero of the game was Darren Sproles, the diminutive scatback, who hasn’t lost any of his agility even at the ripe old age of 31 (that’s like 80 in normal person years).  Sproles repeatedly inspired Gruden’s awe—because if there’s one thing Gruden loves, it’s guys who are either really small or really fast.  And Sproles is both small and fast!

As always, top Grudenisms are graded on a sliding scale of hyperbole, vivid imagery and outright absurdity.

On Trent Richardson’s struggles, “Even Marshall Faulk didn’t run well in Indianapolis, and he did ok.” (next play, backup Ahmad Bradshaw breaks a huge run)

On Reggie Wayne, “He can catch the ball in some of the most incredible positions. I remember his college workout down in Miami.  I had never seen someone catch the ball like that.”

How’d you like to play quarterback with Jason Peters as your lineman?  I just don’t see him get into trouble ever in pass protection. He’s better than everyone he blocks every week.”

Jason Kelce the veteran center. As athletic as anyone in pro football, number 62.”

Beginning the Sproles lovefest, Jjust when you get tired of tackling LeSean McCoy, they bring in a FRESH Darren Sproles, and that combination doesn’t seem fair, Mike. “

Later, “No one wins in one-on-one situations like Darren Sproles and LeSean McCoy.

On Fletcher Cox, “Big Country, from Mississippi State, he’s good in any scheme. He can play in wide-9, he can play in a 4-3, he can play in any defense.”

Espousing that ‘boy wonder’ coaching philosophy, “You can’t get caught up with yards, you gotta get caught up with points.”

After a Nick Foles scramble, “Cory Redding is exhausted.  That’s as hard as I’ve seen him run in 10 years.”

I’ve had a lot of good QBs that have a good hard count, but none like Andrew Luck. He has scratch in his voice.”

After a Sproles TD, “get a TICKET and go watch the Eagles play….that’s Darren Sproles making one of the most memorable runs I’ve seen.” (Actually, this wasn’t hyperbole at all.)

After the Eagles winning FG, “Darren Sproles. Chip Kelly. I’m gonna have fun watching this film.”