Meet our inaugural HAB of the week: Tom Edward Patrick Brady Jr.

For sports fans, internet connoisseurs, or basically anyone with a pulse, it’s nearly impossible to navigate the world wide interwebs without running into a protruding feature on the WAGS (wives and girlfriends) of professional athletes. Enen the most respectful bastions of journalism will use these ladies’ loose affiliation with a newsworthy athlete to post a juicy picture, or entire salacious gallery, of their attractive arm candy.

Here at TFG we try to be an equal opportunity promoter of significant others. So we couldn’t help but wonder, what about the HABs? You know, the Husbands and Boyfriends. They deserve some cyber exploitation too, right? And if our female audience can get a chance to appreciate a Salt N’ Pepa-style “Good Man,” well that’s not such a bad thing either.

So without further ado, let’s Shoop to the NFL’s HAB of the month Tom Brady. Sure, the man can throw a football, turn also rans into Pro Bowlers, and lead his team back from insurmountable odds, but what I really like about this prime HAB of meat is his sensitivity.

Cleary, Tommy is broken up in this pic after having just viewed the gut wrenching film, Kramer vs. Kramer. He cried so much, his entire shirt is soked. Nothing better than a HAB with this level of emotional depth for those days when you’re feeling a little deflated.

But there’s also the cerebral side to Brady, where he’ll just kick back with his Sunday crossword, put on some slippers (no socks of course!) and hit up the local coffee shop. No actual coffee, though, because that’s not in the diet (no days off!). My sources tell me this is when Brady comes up with the most creative recipe for Gisele and the kids. Quinoa and millet smoothies, anyone?

If this were all Brady offered, he would already been one of the top HABs in the league. But what puts TB12 in the GOAT conversation is his true rennaisance qualities, including an obsession with interior design. Just look at the meticulousness in which Brady is studying this floor plan, seeking to ensure that his mattress combines the perfect balance of comfort and Feng Shui.

No wonder he’s been able to keep a supermodel icon satisfied for all these years. Sleep well, Tommy. We’ll be dreaming of you.