As the glow of an epic Super Bowl LI fades, the dregs of the February sports wasteland has already set in. This offseason infancy is particularly depressing because what else are you going to do, watch the news? Fortunately, at TFG we have a little sanctuary to tide you over until August, or at least until March Madness. These are the top ten Grudenisms from 2016. Come back soon, Jon!
As always, Grudenisms are graded on a sliding scale of hyperbole, vivid imagery, and outright absurdity.
10. On Edwin Jackson, “they nicknamed him pound cake because he will POUND you!”
9. “That’s one of my favorite players I’ve seen all year, his name is Cre’von LeBlanc.”
8. On Danielle Hunter, “Is he one of our favorite players or what? This young player is gonna be a superstar. I mean, his pass rush sack strip of Cam Newton last week was one of the greatest plays I’ve ever seen. Just a puppy, only 22 years old.”
7. “It’s just ALL OUT EFFORT that separates Everson Griffin from most of the crowd in this league.”
6. On DeAngelo Williams, “he has a lot to do with me being fired in Tampa because he drove me crazy is Carolina, and now he’s down there tormenting my brother. Shame on you, DeAngelo. What a player he is.”
5. On DeSean Jackson, “when he gets even, he’s leavin’, as they say.” (Do people say that?)
4. On Ben Roethlisberger, “That’s amazing that he can get rid of the ball so quickly on the shotgun. That’s like a point guard in the NBA.”
3. Again mixing sports metaphors, “Xavier Rhodes is like a Cy Young award winner. He throws a shutout every time we get him.”
2. On Norv Turner, inventing acronyms, “I call him ATG. That means anything goes.” McDonough, “I would argue that should be AG.” (Don’t be a nerd, Sean.)
1. On Antonio Brown, “This guy’s recliner at his house is a treadmill. He eats dinner on a roman chair while doing abdominal crunches.”