Predictably Romo: Hold on, Didn’t Fireman Ed Retire?

Welcome to our weekly rendition of “Predictably Romo,” dedicated to the clairvoyance, excitement, and raw analytical abilities of the best thing to happen to the NFL since Papa John’s Pizza.  Last night’s Jets-Bills clash yielded the second straight dud of a game for Tony, which is like garnishing a prime cut of beef with ketchup.  But it’s still a satisfying meal because, as we will show, nobody does garbage time like Tony.  What’s more, it’s quite possible Romo’s power of prognostication may be rubbing off on Jim Nantz.  He’s like Yoda.

As always, we make an effort to group our Romoisms into categories.  Like the analyst himself, this is more art than science.  Enjoy!

Prediction Tony

Only one sold prediction from Tony tonight, calling out a read-option play Perhaps he’s slowing down? Don’t tell me Brent Musberger got to you, Tony.

Prediction Mentoring Bromance Tony

But maybe Tony is trying to share his powers of prognostication, rather than keeping all to himself.

After a Jets touchdown to Robby Anderson, when Jim Nantz had just pointed out his big play ability.

Romo: “And you called that right before”

Nantz: “Something’s rubbing off in taht booth…It’s all about looking at the film, my man.”

Romo: “Hey, you been studying, you’re killing it, my man.”

Nantz: “I love you, Bro Montana.” (off air, probably)

Nicknaming Tony

On Bills defense: I like to call them “The Panthers of the AFC.”

Selfish Tony

After a Josh McCown rollout for a touchdown in the first quarter, “Me there, I like to throw the touchdown to [Anderson] coming across. Makes for a nice stat line.”

Film study Tony

“This is the best route I’ve seen Zay Jones run all year (Apparently he’s watched all of Zay Jones’s routes)

Rules Expert Tony

After Tyrod Taylor pleads for a helmet to helmet call in late second quarter, “The reason they don’t call the penalty on that helmet to helmet outside the pocket, you don’t get quarterback rules. You’re a runner now.”

QB Analyst Tony

Breaking down a Bills incompletion after being flushed from the pocket, “I want Taylor to keep his eyes down field there and stand in and take the hit for a second.”

On the importance of a QB not taking sacks, “Tom Brady’s greatness is that he gets the football out.  And even though his completion is less, it’s second and six and not 15 on the next play.”

On QB sneak strategy, “As silly as it sounds, you read the front of the defensive lineman. And you go to the soft spot.”

Storytelling Tony

Recounting a story from Josh McCown about how his offensive coordinator, John Morton, got his start as a coffee boy for Jon Gruden in Oakland, and then as a receivers coach for the 49ers (where McCown played). “Josh saw him in a meeting.  What happens is different coaches get to get in front of the group on offense, and they get to give you an install.  Well, his job was the red zone install. So all week, John Morton would get ready for a red zone install, the only time he’d talk in front of the whole offensive unit. McCown said, boy this guy’s gonna be a coordinator. He’s got his stuff down.”

Spelling Chant Enthusiast Tony 

On Fireman Ed, “Hold on, didn’t Fireman Ed retire? I tell ya what, I’m glad he’s look.  Look at that, he controls the whole stadium.”

Excitable Tony

After a four-yard ball spot change, “That could be big.  Change the game right here, Jim!.”

On the Jets fourth quarter losing streak, “The Jets are leading for the FOURTH game.”

Impressionist Tony

Garbage Time Tony

Commenting on the Jets playing one-on-one during garbage time, “The Jets are showing that they don’t respect these receivers outside.”

On Nick O’Leary, grandson of Jack and Barbara Nicklaus, “Do you think that Jack and Barbara have to hear they’re the grandpa and grandma every time they watch a game.”

On why the Bills are keeping Tyrod Taylor in the game, “You don’t want this kid to come in, score two touchdowns and then create a quarterback controversy.” (Tony should know)

After the Bills score a TD, hoping that the play doesn’t get reviewed so he can go home, “His knee is down, but don’t tell anybody. Whoop, don’t show anybody.” After the whistle blows, dejected, “It’s coming back.” (It did.)

After a Bills TD on a QB sneak, “Look at the ball, look at this! The ball’s in the end zone! They scored before they scored. They let you move the ball a little bit, but that’s an aggressive move by the center.”

Jets-Bills line of scrimmage

Commenting on shots of Bills fans, with two minutes left, “I’m impressed they’re still here. How big of a fan do you have to be?”