The Fashionista Girl: Colts Inc.: Welcome to Peyton’s World
After a season of diligent preparation and strategy, the Indianapolis Colts are leaving Lucas Oil corporate HQ in their final big push of the year to take Super Bowl 44. Having spent the last few years after their last Super Bowl win restructuring and reevaluating objectives, Colts, Inc., lead by #18, appears primed to not only wipe out America’s sweetheart team, but maybe even take over the world.
Peyton Manning possesses all the key characteristics of an industry titan:
1. He comes from good genetic stock for his line of work.
Sure, there may be some inbreeding, but what dynasty doesn’t have a little family lovin’?
2. He’s boring.
Seriously. I’ve been grasping for an interesting angle here, and this is the best I could do while still staying employed. […crickets]
3. He’s an asshole. If you’re a drunk, lazy, or mediocre he will let you know under no uncertain terms. There’s no room for interpretation that you may in fact be worthy of life.
“Run the effing plays I give you!”
4. But, he also rewards work well done.
After Colts Inc. crushes the spirit of New Orleans and Peyton takes over the South, Manning promises lucrative construction contracts to Reggie Wayne’s Wayne Construction.
5. He’s Republican. And apparently donated $9,500 to George W. Bush.
I’ve got $9,500 to make this go away.
6. He’s aligned with other entities seeking world domination: MasterCard, Nabisco, Lucas Oil (an energy company… c’mon!)
But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try.
Although a very strong team in their own right, the Saints are going to have their work cut out for them Super Bowl Sunday. Even when the Colts narrowly win or even lose, it all seems like a calculated part to some master plan. Who knows though, the past year has been marked by countless sea changes and paradigm shifts. Maybe a little voodoo magic will be just enough to topple this gridiron juggernaut.