We interrupt the NFL off-season for a little Oscars postmortem

By: The Football Girl | Posted:

If there’s anything that parallels my love for all things NFL, it’s all things Oscar.  So before I dive back into shockingly busy NFL off-season (yes, I know, there is no off-season) please allow me to share my thoughts about last night’s big show.  Let me preface by mentioning I generally see all the films in the Picture, Acting, and Screenplay slots, but this year I did not see District 9 (too early?) or Avatar (see explanation below).  Not that I’m trying to boast of my excessive movie-watching (and coinciding wallet-shrinking) but I think it’s important to take into account what someone has or has not seen if you’re going to read their movie opinions, especially on a site about football. Now let me present my red carpet of random Oscars observations.

-   I decided early on to boycott Avatar because of my membership in the James Cameron is a big douche camp; plus I’m not going to support his big technical spectacle/no plot movement. And, judging by their repudiation of the film, Hollywood is right there with me.  Sub-random thought: Is Tiger Woods now the James Cameron of sports?  Marvel at his work yet root against him – hard.  Come to think of it, I bet Cameron has a much different likeability rating among the genders just like Tiger.

-   Okay, I know I’m susceptible to backlash but anyone else with me that Kathryn Bigelow may not have won if she wasn’t the former Mrs. Cameron?  I really liked The Hurt Locker and did appreciate it as a “director” movie with use of chilling camera angles and all, but I just don’t think it’s a film  people will want to see multiple times in the future, aka not a classic.  I can’t really argue that Bigelow didn’t deserve it, she did.  But I am just a big Inglourious Basterds fan and wanted to see Tarantino get some love for his gutsy revisionist history, a much tougher task that molding something conceivable really well.  But happy for Bigelow (who seems like a lovely person in and out) for breaking the Best Director glass ceiling  -- although I wish that honor had been bestowed on Sofia Coppola in 2003 for Lost in Translation.

-   Why do they need to have Miley Cyrus, Amanda Siegfried and those plastic Twilight dolls there?  Just because it might pique the interest of a 14-year old girl doesn’t mean said girl is going to start frequenting  R-rated movies with complex plots at the theater, you know, the type like Hurt Locker that win Academy Awards. We only need Young Hollywood when Young Hollywood is relevant to quality film (see Carey Mulligan).

-   We are a ladies site so, by George, we must talk Clooney.  Was he playful or scornful during the little vaudevillian monologue?   And that Clooney girlfriend, well, she looks like a girl with a long list of female friends.  Did anyone catch the daggers from the gf being thrown at Vera Farmiga as she gushed about him on stage, which George seemed to be longingly eating up by the way?  It got so bad the producers just axed the gf out of all future George Clooney reaction shots.  Priceless.

-   Love Alec Baldwin in 30 Rock, but he was outmatched by a looser Steve Martin.  If you have to keep one hand in your pocket as a comfort you probably shouldn't be hosting anything above QVC level.

-   As I’m such an Oscar dork, I have to watch the E! Afterparty show where they show winners press conferences and try to interview celebs entering parties.  Awkward moment with Serena Williams entering the Vanity Fair party.  It went a little something like this.

•           E! bimbo girl: How are you tonight?
•           Serena: Fine
•           E! bimbo girl: How was the electricity inside the Kodak tonight?
•           Serena: I wasn’t at the actual Oscars (duh!). I was at Elton’s John’s viewing party.
•           E! bimbo girl: Who are you wearing?
•           Serena: Max Azaria (don’t quote me on this one)
•           E! bimbo girl: Well, it’s great that you can look like a girl and still have all those muscles.

Huh? 

Back to the ceremony itself, was that Michael Oher sitting up in the rafters next to Leanne Tuohy?  Guess Michael forgave the producers for the supposed learning football via spice rack liberties they took.

Last thing I want to mention is PLEASE see Crazy Heart.  Not only did The Dude give his best performance ever (and there are many) but the film is so well done and was filled with beautiful country music that didn’t make me want to poke my eyes out.

Why Serena, what big muscles you have??

And really in closing, some quickie fashion awards:

Best dressed: Penelope Cruz, love how she wore that wine toned gown

Worst dressed:  Jennifer Lopez and the hip accentuator

Most inspired dress: Mo’Nique paying homage to Hattie McDaniel, the first black woman to win an Oscar for Gone with the Wind, by wearing the same blue color (royal blue) and same type of flower (gardenia) that McDaniel wore to accept her award.

Anyhow, this post is far too long and these fingers need to get to writing about the NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE.  But I’d love to hear your thoughts on anything Oscar-related.  The hosts? The dresses? Clooney’s girlfriend? NPH (Neil Patrick Harris)? Seacrest? The crazy dance number?