Daily Cut of Meat: Ryan Fitzpatrick’s hairy maze will make you swoon

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Balancing the scales of gender inequality one pound of manly flesh at a time…

Today’s DCOM is Ryan Fitzpatrick, a delicious combination of brains and brawn.  And oh, that beard. Like a well-manicured arboretum, that beard says I’m here to party but keeping it to two drinks because I gotta get home and finish building that distressed wood table. No wonder Fitz got picked up by Tampa Bay, over the likes of Colin Kaepernick, despite having a 12 to 17 TD-to-interception ratio and a league-low 69.6 passer rating last year. Now that Fitz has traded the gloomy confines of New York for the Florida, that luscious beard can only be destined for magic. Add in his sexy mastery of the Rubik’s Cube and has any NFL QB in history been more well-rounded? 

Here’s Fitz showing off both his (kind of) bulging guns and the forest during a press conference last year. We’ll help you pitch a tent in the woods any time! 

If you’ve ever wondered whether the carpet matches the drapes, the answer is a resounding Yes!

Here’s Fitz all cleaned up with his wife, Liza. Always great to see a mountain man who can be domesticated. 

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