Positively Gruden: Dolphins at Jets

Welcome to another rendition of “Positively Gruden,” where we chronicle that best compliments, absurdities, and hyperbole from our favorite former fawning coach.  Gruden was certainly in high spirits Monday Night, having just inked a deal that will keep him in the ESPN fold (and me doing this segment!) for another five years.  And thank God, because the sad display on the field would have turned a normal commentator into a raving lunatic at all the offensive mishaps displayed by the Jets and Dolphins.  Thus, while there was very little to be “positive” about, Gruden gave us a few nuggets to keep us satisfied next week’s hopefully better Ravens-Jags.  (Wait, the Jags are playing on Monday night? Forget I said that.)

Without further ado….

“This 1-2 combination of Thomas and Bush really excites head coach Tony Sparano.”

“If you stand too close to the fire, you’re gonna get burned by THAT GUY Revis”

“I think Ron Jaworski could come out and complete balls with this kind of protection.”

One of these New York Jets I really like is Eric Smith, number 33….Eric Smith plays safety, he also plays linebacker. Look at him down here replacing Bart Scott, replacing a LB, playing over the guard. This is one tough customer.”

On his new contract, “I learned a lot of four of five syllable words from Jaworski. I don’t know if they’re real words.”

A shout out to Madden, “How’s that stiff arm. One thing this kid has is a left jab. That’s scary. Boom! Powerful young man, Shonn Greene.”