Jeff Hart: Wednesday Linkfest for September 21, 2011

By: Jeff Hart | Posted: September 21, 2011

Man, rich people get to have all the fun.

For instance, they can just throw things at interns without any repercussions. (I challenge you not to be absolutely mesmerized by this GIF. Pay special attention to that moment where the intern’s feet tangle and it looks like he might fall.)

Or, if casual violence against your inferiors isn’t really your thing, consider bathing the less fortunate in your champagne leavings, like a certain pop-star did at Monday’s Giants game.

The rich get all the best medical treatment. I can’t afford to go to Korea and have their brilliant physicians turn me into a successful NFL wide receiver. But that’s what Terrell Owens did, totally one-upping Peyton Manning by getting his stem cell treatment in a more exotic country. Rumor has it, Randy Moss is already booking a trip to Bangkok. How many more NFL stars will be heading overseas to receive experimental treatment, and how long before Goodell pours some salt into this would be fountain of youth?

Speaking of Manning, he’s reported to the Indianapolis practice facility for brisk rehabilitation walks. He’s healed! Better hop on the waiver wire now and sign him up.

There’s only a few ways for us common people to get over on these rich athlete types. One of those ways is by impersonating them to bilk charities and seduce coeds. Following up on yesterday’s Vince Young impersonator story, here’s a firsthand account of a college kid hanging out with Young’s doppelganger. It’s creepy.

Want a better way to avoid being pushed around by the wealthy, one that doesn’t require felonious behavior? Unionize. That’s exactly what Eric Adelson recommends in his sensible piece on why, facing the mounting brokenness of cash bonanza college sports, NCAA athletes should be allowed to organize.

Of course, the wealthy aren’t all bad. For every dozen champagne spilling intern beaters, there’s one Charlie Batch, who spends his free time quietly delivering school supplies to local classrooms. Charlie, when the revolution starts, you’re safe. 

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