Jeff Hart: Tuesday Linkfest for November 22, 2011

By: Jeff Hart | Posted: November 22, 2011

In my continuing quest to unearth every parody song made about the NFL this year, and in honor of his team’s blow-out victory last night, I present to you “Moves Like Welker”:

If you’re like a certain Linkmaster that shall remain nameless, you lost a fantasy game this weekend to a winless team that didn’t bother to update for bye weeks. However, if your fantasy team still has a beating heart, it might be time to inject some new blood.

Reminding everyone why he is one of the best interviews in sports, reclusive handball champion Jake Plummer told a Phoenix sports radio show that he’d like Tim Tebow better once he cools it with all the Jesus stuff. Said Plummer on Tebow’s tendency to invoke his lord and savior: “I just would rather not have to hear that every single time he takes a good snap or makes a good handoff.” Notice how he didn’t say anything about making a good throw?

In related news, Brian Urlacher has argued that the Bears could use a little Tebow-style offense while Jay Cutler is on the shelf. That has to be one of the most insulting things Caleb Hanie has ever heard.

Jabar Gaffney told a Cowboys fan to “kill yourself” on Twitter. This isn’t nearly as juicy as when Bernard Berrian accidentally insulted a paraplegic (and got karmic retribution a few weeks later), but I’d like to use it as a place to restate my position that athletes shouldn’t be expected to behave on Twitter. Just like coaches shouldn’t be expected to behave in the tunnel.  

Here’s a story that elucidates what it’s like to be a Bills fan. It begins with a young Bills fan getting punched in the face and includes the phrase “that dark place we’ve become so accustomed to for years.” If it’s any consolation, it appears the Bills aren’t as locked into QB-of-the-future Ryan Fitzpatrick as many have feared.

Finally, here’s a clip of Terrell Owens doing some acting. I just helped you take an early advantage in your Oscars pool. You’re welcome. 

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