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Home » News and Features » After Further Review » Best Fantasy Football Team Names for 2013

Best Fantasy Football Team Names for 2013

By: The Football Girl | Posted: August 22, 2013

Fantasy drafts are rapidly approaching, and as any veteran owner can attest, a spectacular team name puts you on the fast track to succss. Well, maybe not success as in actually winning your league’s Super Bowl or winning ever, but success in that you can mention your team with a swagger that the “Carlos Dangers” of the world cannot. Before we unveil our list of best names for 2013, let me address the “danger”ous situation at hand. I have thus far logged into four of my leagues and all four have a “Carlos Danger.” The name may have sounded snazzy a month ago but at this point you’ll just be like one of a million girls who buys the same Kate Middleton knockoff dress at Zara. Cheap, lazy and with a rapidly diminishing impact. Besides, the last thing you want in a team name is an actual food item.

That brings me to this year’s list, which includes a lot of favorites from last season. Most of the updates come in the Current Events category as “The Replacements” and “Gregg the Bounty Hunter” are thankfully dated. We also said goodbye to our extensive Tim Tebow category and replaced it with a player-based category far more relevant.

Just like last year, many of the names came from our media columnist, The Wise Guy, and you, the hilarious, creative readers. Our hope is that this list continues to swell with quality options, so if you have a solid name or two please add it to the comments below. (And include your Twitter handle if you potentially want to pick up a follower or two.) We’ll add the best ones.

Current Events

The Patriot Way

James Harrison’s Media Center

That’s Not My Bag

Clear Bag and Present Danger

Aaron Hernandez’s Targets

Chandler Harnish’s Accuracy Camp

Jets Worst (play on Jets West)

Tainted Samples


Play-on Players Names

Get Luck-y

Mr. Boom-Bostic

Tyrann So Far Away (to the tune of Flock of Seagulls)-- Jamie Benoit.

Blair Walsh Project – John Errico

Cooper Clux Clan

Tannehillbillies @GinaMuscato

Good Morning Viet-Nnamdi! @nhatty_ice49

Gorgasms @nhatty_ice49

London Fletcher’s Falling Down

Hey Suh

The Big Gronkowski @grantjess

Stafford and Sons

The Other Mike Williams

Livin' on a Prater @WooBennyNMU

I’ve Got VD and Crabs @ninersnation

Too Many Johnsons


Bachelorette Dez Bryant

Too Legit To Britt @sports_vault

Breaston Implants @michaelborden14

Hotel Roethlisberger

The Final Ansah @Mom23RN



Joe Buck Chuck

Joe Buck Yourself @MFlandina7

Goose Cam


I’m Dick Stockton?

These Guys

A Very Special Bob Costas Essay

Positively Gruden


Football Terms

Deft Punt

Drafted by Siri

Breaking Bad Tackles

Sacks and the City @wholtzman

Staff(ord) Interfections


Bordering on Inappropriate

Hard Knockers

My TDs are Real @Lizzs_Lockeroom

Master Payton to the Saints @Braves_Paul

Hand Schaub @Braves_Paul

Show Me Your TDs @titansfan4life

Bush is my Forte @sarahspain

Drafting Under the Influence

Jerry's Glory Hole @gx5




RGIII Men and a Baby



Waiting for Cousins

Cleared by James Andrews

James Andrews’ Ligament Factory (parents of toddlers should get this one)

Belichick It

Belichick This


Tim Tebow (Sorry, couldn’t resist)

Boston Tebow Party – Jeanette Walsh

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Posts: 12
Re: Best Fantasy Football Team Names for 2013
Reply #4 on : Mon September 02, 2013, 18:36:53
A couple more for the list-

Dezzie Does Dallas
Marshawnshank Redemption (still works even though he isn't a kicker)
Posts: 12
Re: Best Fantasy Football Team Names for 2013
Reply #3 on : Mon September 02, 2013, 05:49:02
Nothing worse than being in a humorless league with managers who have no creativity. Some good names on those lists. I was tempted to go with Sexy Rexy's Buttfumble Brigade this year.
nhatty ice
Posts: 12
Re: Best Fantasy Football Team Names for 2013
Reply #2 on : Thu August 22, 2013, 10:55:39
There's the oldies but goodies for Niners fans (3 of them are my teams right now):

The Boldin The Beautiful
Good Morning Viet-Nnamdi!!
The Lemonier Tree
Kaeptain Planet

Some of my past names:
Here's my Fleener, so Coby maybe?
Teenage Mutant Newton Turtles
Sherman's March to the Seahawks
Also saw "Somewhere Over the Dwayne Bowe" in one league, thought it was hilarious lol

Twitter handle @nhatty_ice49
Sonja (@Mom23RN)
Posts: 12
Re: Best Fantasy Football Team Names for 2013
Reply #1 on : Thu August 22, 2013, 09:58:41
Mine is The Final Ansah