Positively Gruden: Peyton Manning Edition

By: The Football Girl | Posted: November 02, 2010

Positively Gruden: Peyton Manning Edition

It’s the first Tuesday in November, so you know what that means: time for another edition of “Positively Gruden.”  This week I put myself to the test; could I capture ten Gruden quotes solely about Peyton Manning?  Well, even with a 45 minute detour to watch that stoner high school kid from Dazed and Confused win the World Series, I am happy to report the answer is a resounding “Yes.”  I mean, this is Peyton Manning we’re talking about.  This is a guy who pipes film into his brain even while he’s sleeping and is so good at choreographing plays, he’s been offered to direct Cirque du Soleil in the offseason.  Needless to say, I like this guy.

Once again, we countdown from 10 to 1 based on increasing levels of hyperbole and absurdity.

10.  "I don't know how you blitz Manning.  The ball was out of his hand almost before the snap."

9.  On observing Manning at practice, "What I saw was 13 years, hard work, and a coaching staff that turned him loose and gave him the authority to do what he does."

8. "The details, the work ethic, the practice time that this man has put into his profession, sets him apart, Ron."

7. On Tom Moore, the now Senior Offensive Assistant who had been the Offensive Coordinator for the past twelve years, "He taught Peyton Manning a system of football.  He's like that doctor from Jurassic Park.  And he created a monster."

6.  On (snicker) Manning’s ball handling, "He doesn't care if he's handing the ball off to Edgerrin James, Joseph Addai, Donald Brown, or Mike Hart.  This guy spends countless hours on ball handling, and it's a credit to him."

5.  More on Manning at a practice, "What I saw was unbelievable.  He had a script in his pocket, he called every play, he ran the whole practice."

4. "Peyton Manning, when he sees man to man coverage or a blitz, he doesn't just throw a slant, he's going after your throat."
 
3.  On Manning's continued success with a bunch of, er, scrubs, "If you have a great quarterback, and I'm not saying a greater hamburger or a great hotel, I'm saying a great quarterback, they can cover a lot of things."

2.  Discussing Colts' injuries during pregame, "The good news for the Colts is they still have the Sheriff, Peyton Manning. (Puts on ridiculous sheriff hat and badge). And I don't care who his deputies are, the Sheriff is ready to lay down the law tonight."

1.  "When it comes to ball handling, I think he's the best in the world."

And that’s a wrap.  If I missed any quotes during my World Series interlude, please feel free to add them in the comments section.  Or just make something up.  Chances are, it won’t be any more absurd than a real Gruden line.

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