Browsing: Feature Articles

Ed. Note: Since our inception, we at TFG have made it our mission to develop content that stands above the “clickbait” found on most Internet sports sites and deliver insightful and unique commentary for male and female football fans alike. But we can’t help but get a little jealous of our male-driven competition who have succeeded in, er, augmenting their coverage with a little gratuitous eye candy.  Of course, with a site named TheFootballGirl.com it would be a little disingenuous to get into the WAG/cheerleader/women-loosely-affiliated-with-sports-if-you-strain-all-logic game. It’s also quite sexist. That’s why we’ve created our “Daily Cut of Meat” segment…

Balancing the scales of gender equality one pound of flesh at a time…. For today’s DCOM, we’re kickin’ it old school with Herschel Walker. There’s been a lot of buzz about Ezekiel Elliott’s appearance on the cover of ESPN the Magazine’s Body Issue, but let’s not forget the shoulders of Cowboys running back greats on which Elliott’s six-pack abs are perched upon. And as opposed to these millennials like Elliott with their over-specialization, prodigious development, and (probably) unnatural cravings for avocado toast, Walker is a true renaissance man who didn’t enter the NFL until the ripe-old age of 24. Of…

Balancing the scales of gender equality one pound of flesh at a time…. Today’s DCOM is Eric Decker, previously/currently of New York Jets fame but who is reportedly on the outs. Decker is rumored to be included in New York’s veteran dumpfest but remains on the Jets roster as the team first searches for a trade partner. We shouldn’t feel too bad for Decker, though, having leveraged targets from Peyton Manning to the tune of a $36 million contract in 2014, and locking up sultry country singer, Jessie James, to a lifetime contract (with a buyout clause, I’m sure) in…

Balancing the scales of gender inequality one pound of manly flesh at a time… Today’s DCOM is Ryan Fitzpatrick, a delicious combination of brains and brawn.  And oh, that beard. Like a well-manicured arboretum, that beard says I’m here to party but keeping it to two drinks because I gotta get home and finish building that distressed wood table. No wonder Fitz got picked up by Tampa Bay, over the likes of Colin Kaepernick, despite having a 12 to 17 TD-to-interception ratio and a league-low 69.6 passer rating last year. Now that Fitz has traded the gloomy confines of New York for…

Welcome to another rendition of “Positively Gruden,” where we chronicle the top praise, plaudits, and pontifications from America’s favorite fawning former coach.  Last night’s game was a three and a half quarter snoozefest, with Andrew Luck looking like a beleaguered Civil War general with no ammunition for his musket and a bad case of gout.  But like the South, Andrew Luck always rises again, and delivered a stirring 17-point comeback to send the game into overtime.  But that just led to one final Luck interception, which set the table for Graham Gano, aka Mr. Clutch, to seal a Panthers victory…

Welcome to another rendition of “Positively Gruden,” where we chronicle the top cheers, compliments, and commendations from America’s favorite fawning former coach.  Last night’s game was a veritable snoozefest for three and half quarters, before turning into complete chaos culminating in a “walkoff wildcat” touchdown by Le’Veon Bell as the clock struck 0:00.  You know what they say in coaching: it’s a great play if it works. But we shouldn’t let the game’s ending take away from the Grudenisms, because there were some real doozies in last night’s broadcast.  From flags on the beach, to stadiums, to skin flutes, to…

Welcome to another rendition of ‘Positively Gruden,’ our weekly column chronicling the top praise, plaudits, and pontifications of America’s favorite fawning former coach.  For three and half quarters, last night’s game was a veritable snoozefest of incompetent offense, shaken only by brief interludes of Russell Wilson’s trademark fifteen second scrambles leading to a big play.  But when Lions scored a defensive touchdown off a Wilson fumble and promptly drove down on the next possession on the brink of scoring a game-winning touchdown, the game suddenly got interesting.  Of course, Lions gonna Lions, and the usually sure-handed Calvin Johnson lost a…

Welcome to another rendition of Positively Gruden, where we chronicle the top gushes, guffaws, and gesticulations from America’s favorite fawning former coach.  If there’s one thing Jon Gruden loves, it’s efficient offenses, which was on prime display Monday night with Aaron Rodgers the Packers.  Gruden could barely contain his excitement in comparing Rodgers to Joe Montana, Stephen Curry, and yes, even Muhammed Ali.  This made for a non-stop lovefest, with Grudenisms flying off the TV screen. The game itself was essentially secondary, but we were prepared for that with Alex “checkdown” Smith no match for the high-powered Packers offense. As…

Welcome to another rendition of “Positively Gruden,” where we chronicle the top praise, plaudits, and pontifications from America’s favorite fawning former coach. As we all expected, the hapless  dominant New York Jets put the beat down on Andrew Luck and his high-powered anemic Indianapolis Colts offense. It’s almost as if one of these teams had DirecTV and the other had cable! Coach Gruden, for his part, couldn’t get enough of the Jets defense with all their “big people” running around and wreaking havoc. Ryan FitzHarvardPatrick wasn’t too shabby himself, with his high IQ eclipsed only by his glorious manbeard. Just…

Tim Tebow returned to the NFL last Sunday, playing most of the second half of the Eagles’ preseason game against the Colts. Never ones to miss a story we have no choice but to cover, we at The Football Girl watched the game and pulled some reactions off Twitter to give you a sense of what Tebowmania circa 2015 is like. 1:00 Game on! Sanchez to start.    Sanchez touchdown! There’s a shot of the QBs on the sideline. Barkley should be going in for the next series. Barkley in for Sanchez. Barkley is having a good half. Impressing a lot…

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