Browsing: After Further Review

Welcome to another rendition of “Positively Gruden,” where we chronicle the top praise, plaudits, and pontifications from America’s favorite fawning former coach.  Last night’s game was a three and a half quarter snoozefest, with Andrew Luck looking like a beleaguered Civil War general with no ammunition for his musket and a bad case of gout.  But like the South, Andrew Luck always rises again, and delivered a stirring 17-point comeback to send the game into overtime.  But that just led to one final Luck interception, which set the table for Graham Gano, aka Mr. Clutch, to seal a Panthers victory…

Welcome to another rendition of “Positively Gruden,” where we chronicle the top cheers, compliments, and commendations from America’s favorite fawning former coach. Last night featured an eagerly-awaited unveiling of the new Star Wars trailer, which Tirico, channeling his inner Gruden, characterized as “a moment you’ll never forget.” Sadly, the game itself was far less memorable. Gruden was primed to gush over the Giants’ revamped offense, but after an impressive first drive, Eli and the gang were literally stuck in mud. The Eagles needed to turn in only a serviceable performance—despite committing four turnovers—to easily take the game. This resulted in…

Welcome to another rendition of “Positively Gruden,” where we chronicle the top cheers, compliments, and commendations from America’s favorite fawning former coach.  Last night’s game was a veritable snoozefest for three and half quarters, before turning into complete chaos culminating in a “walkoff wildcat” touchdown by Le’Veon Bell as the clock struck 0:00.  You know what they say in coaching: it’s a great play if it works. But we shouldn’t let the game’s ending take away from the Grudenisms, because there were some real doozies in last night’s broadcast.  From flags on the beach, to stadiums, to skin flutes, to…

Welcome to another rendition of ‘Positively Gruden,’ our weekly column chronicling the top praise, plaudits, and pontifications of America’s favorite fawning former coach.  For three and half quarters, last night’s game was a veritable snoozefest of incompetent offense, shaken only by brief interludes of Russell Wilson’s trademark fifteen second scrambles leading to a big play.  But when Lions scored a defensive touchdown off a Wilson fumble and promptly drove down on the next possession on the brink of scoring a game-winning touchdown, the game suddenly got interesting.  Of course, Lions gonna Lions, and the usually sure-handed Calvin Johnson lost a…

Welcome to another rendition of Positively Gruden, where we chronicle the top gushes, guffaws, and gesticulations from America’s favorite fawning former coach.  If there’s one thing Jon Gruden loves, it’s efficient offenses, which was on prime display Monday night with Aaron Rodgers the Packers.  Gruden could barely contain his excitement in comparing Rodgers to Joe Montana, Stephen Curry, and yes, even Muhammed Ali.  This made for a non-stop lovefest, with Grudenisms flying off the TV screen. The game itself was essentially secondary, but we were prepared for that with Alex “checkdown” Smith no match for the high-powered Packers offense. As…

Welcome to another rendition of “Positively Gruden,” where we chronicle the top praise, plaudits, and pontifications from America’s favorite fawning former coach. As we all expected, the hapless  dominant New York Jets put the beat down on Andrew Luck and his high-powered anemic Indianapolis Colts offense. It’s almost as if one of these teams had DirecTV and the other had cable! Coach Gruden, for his part, couldn’t get enough of the Jets defense with all their “big people” running around and wreaking havoc. Ryan FitzHarvardPatrick wasn’t too shabby himself, with his high IQ eclipsed only by his glorious manbeard. Just…

Welcome to the inaugural 2015 edition of “Positively Gruden,” where we chronicle the top cheers, compliments, and commendations from America’s favorite fawning former coach.  After an eight month hiatus—subsisting only on Hooters wings and film—Gruden re-emerged last night to bestow his trademark colorful grace upon Philadelphia Eagles and Atlanta Falcons.  And turns out the game matched the positivity of the commentary, with the Falcons squeaking one out thanks to Chip “Go for it” Kelly’s sudden bout of NFL conventional wisdom by settling for a field goal with his offense humming. But you didn’t come here for a game recap; you…

“Are you ready for some football?” Dear God, y es. Yes, I am very ready for some football. It’s finally week one of the regular season. I have studied all the games and looked into my cloudy crystal ball to make some predictions for exactly how things are going to go down. Mark my words, people, all or none of this will happen. Steelers at Patriots Tom Brady runs out of the tunnel screaming, “Let’s gooooooo!” and flips everyone the double bird. Jimmy Garoppolo is behind him, crying salty, handsome tears of regret. Many members of the Steelers offense, including…

Preseason football is known for two things: first, terrible football; and second, the time when the twos and threes play terrible football. For backup quarterbacks, however, preseason is the time of year when they get to hit the field without someone having to get horribly injured, first. They must look forward to these few weeks all year long. It’s their Spring Break. With that in mind, I decided to cast an afterschool special about the dangers of Spring Break (Peer pressure! Small clothing! Marshmallow ­flavored vodka!) with some of the NFL’s backup (or backup quality) quarterbacks. TITLE:​ The Hottest P​re-​Weeks of…

Tim Tebow returned to the NFL last Sunday, playing most of the second half of the Eagles’ preseason game against the Colts. Never ones to miss a story we have no choice but to cover, we at The Football Girl watched the game and pulled some reactions off Twitter to give you a sense of what Tebowmania circa 2015 is like. 1:00 Game on! Sanchez to start.  Sanchez touchdown! There’s a shot of the QBs on the sideline. Barkley should be going in for the next series. Barkley in for Sanchez. Barkley is having a good half. Impressing a lot of…